Pages of my gayish life

For a gay guy in London life is full of many choices - most of my choices are wrong. But how did all this happen, and even more importantly - when I was sinking deep into the shadow of relationships, it all ended.  Do I still have the hope of being happy with a house in a big city, a cat, two ferrets, do life all the time throw me towards devil jaw - wanting to get, hmm, best not to mention it ... My life in numbers...  11 years old my first time with a friend - my best friend from the school, we called it "foolishness" I was 5 when I received a note for bad behavior for the first time in school When I was 31 I finally faced up with my body 6 times this year I refused to go on a date At the age of 16, I was sleeping with the married guy and his wife! I started taking antidepressants. Visits to a psychologist. I started running from school 33 finally I have reconciled that I am gay, that my love for a cock is more than a caprice ... ...

I think it took a bit. There have been many times when I thought I needed extra help. Well, you know, hand - spiritual inspiration. Are not we all looking for something? I think today that calls Bridget Jones's syndrome - no, not to get drunk or kilograms to count. But for the purpose of finding the missing part in our lives. The feeling as you are on the boat in the sea.   I am like a ship looking for any purpose on the coast. Hoping that the next coast would be THE ONLY ONE! I call it Disney's syndrome. Foolish tales from young age searching for - "happily ever after" with included a specific menu to your daily list. My garcon du jour!   Todays shaved head, a tattooed, impossibly muscular guy, I found him lying around the corner of a nightclub, looking for a young baby. He was perfect for my hunger. After a few irreducible glances on his side (okay, okay, maybe I spend half a night by rubbing the hole in the wall and gazing at him) (I have to attract...