Pages of my gayish life

Damn, Damn, Damn it, I did it again! Check me into Heartbreak Hotel . Another failed love, another risk, gain, then horribly tragic loss. When will I learn? Learn what though? To not love at all? I can't stop loving but I can be wiser in how I love the next time and how I maintain that love. Forgive me but I am in desperate need of blog-therapy and have discovered that there are absolutely no books out there on how to heal a gay broken heart and there is no pill to take away the pain of the knife wedged in my heart. All I do have is time to process what caused the collapse and in the words of a friend, "take it not day by day but hour by hour".   This love lost was the grandest, most beautiful and real love I ever had in my life, challenging me to the best version of me possible. It renewed my faith that a true and mutual love is possible in the Gay world of today with real morals and real fidelity. It even got me believing in the "M-word" (marriage) for th...

That’s my diag-nonsense. What’s yours?   No one says sleep is going to bring me down to Happyfriendlyst.   I close my eyes with the cosy tone of Tom Odell's music, but in the fifth sleep phase, everything is back in action at full speed. The sun of the kingdom of dreams, taking the position at the very centre of the blue arc, in the backyard of my parents' house, there's a 60's party, with homemade wine and home-made biscuits. I am surrounded by friends from the student days and teachers of all my subjects. Even the sexiest marketing genius, whose surname we escalated daily an infinite number of times. Those who had left the planet of the earth before the appointed time, the order of God's grace, was there as well. Apparently, all my dreams are always full of corpses. In the whole beautiful scenery, there was a lack of one single essential element - gravity. However, as in all my unpleasant dreams after the adrenalin tsunami, nobody paid attention to the lack ...